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UNO Girls
A Storm Looms Larger Than Ever
Rock Star’s hottest rocker is busting out in a Stateside shoot done exclusively for UNO and talking about how she leg-locked Tommy Lee.
"They would play with me, and I would play with them. And we would go tit for tat..."
"Why go for bad boys? It’s idotic..."
-- Our sentiments exactly. Right Mommy?
The last guy who tried groping Storm Large ended up with a broken jaw and a bruised ego. Yet despite his bloody misfortune, we still consider him lucky. At least he got his ass whupped by a lovely six-foot siren with Balls who hangs out with the likes of motorboat-drivin' Tommy Lee and Mr. Electra, Dave Navarro of Rock Star: Supernova. Definitely better than that obnoxious dude in sixth grade who used to stuff his sweaty gym socks up our throat until our mouth bled while we were hanging upside down with face almost dipped in murky, smelly toilet water. Sorry, where were we? Right, groping storm. Not a good idea. That;s the reason why we -- unlike that idiot who couldn't control himself -- remain steadfast and keep our impulse to grope bottled up... and simply revel in the view of this vixen. yeah, we know. It's tempting, but trust us when we say: Storm is sweet, but don't push your luck.
Did you ever sneak in a liquor cabinet as a kid?
Constantly. (Laughs) I ran away a lot as a young woman -- you know, 12 or 13. Shaved my head, mohawks, listened to terrible music that upset my family. You know -- the usual stuff.
Speaking of which, what music did you grow up listening to?
My first favorite record was The Kinks' Give the People What They Want. And then, the Beatles' Abbey Road. I loved Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison. Then I started getting into punk rock -- Sex Pistols, Clash. I love rebellious, obnoxious music that challenged the status quo. Political music - Dead Kennedys. Then I started really liking metal: I loved Metallica. I loved Public Enemy, rap music. I loved really energetic, passionate music full of ideas that weren't like my parents' opinion.
What's one album no one would ever expect you to be listening to?
The Original Broadway Recording of Jesus Christ Superstar. That's an awesome, awesome recording!
Being a six-foot tall gorgeous singer, have you ever gotten away with breaking the law?
I've been arrested several time. But I sweet talked my way out of a police car once or twice.
How'd you do it?
I started crying! But it was a situation where a man grabbed my body inappropriately in a club. It was pretty much sexual assault. And I hit him in the face so many times so hard that, yeah! I broke his jaw. His face was fairly mashed to a pulp. And we both got dragged out of the club. The police showed up and the man was pointing at me, I had blood on my hands. The police threw me in one car and the man in a another car. And I was trying to explain to the police that he had groped me very violently and grabbed me in a really nasty way. I was very upset and it was a very violent fight. He touched me once and I knocked him to the floor. And I was crying and the police changed their tone and asked me if I wanted a drink! (Laughs) And they let me go. Because it was completely self-defense. I did lose control. And I guarantee that the next time that man sees another girl he wants to touch, he will think twice. But I'm usually very, very sweet, as you all can tell. Just don't touch me.
"... and he kept trying to get up, so I pulled him back into his seat on top of me..."
--Recalling an on-air moment with Tommy Lee. (That's it! We're sooo not sending you Christmas cards this year, Tommy boy!)
Going back to your music, who was your biggest musical influence?
You know, I don't have a biggest one, but a lot of things inspire me in terms of musically inspire me. they may not even be music. It might be someone rebelling against the status quo, a speech. Muhammad Ali really inspires me musically to not be afraid to speak your mind, to stand up for your opinion even though it may be unpopular. And to be true to yourself. I may be inspired by how much I love someone. But I do have some musical heroes in terms of their ability to write music. And that was The Beatles. And some of the old punk rock guys. I love Nina hagen -- she's a punk rock opera singer. but inspiration, to me, comes from everywhere, not just music.
What song could make you get up, dance and trash a hotel room?
Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. That bitch rules! I love Kelly Clarkson. I love that single. That'll get me to flip the mattress and pour tequila on a stranger and make out with them until their mouth bleeds. But I am a sweet girl. And gentle in spirit.
Did any of the band members make a move on you?
No. Not once. They flirted with me on stage, and t was part of the act. But it was just an act. They were playing with me. And it was more Tommy [Lee] and Dave [Navarro]. But it wasn't lascivious, and not to be taken seriously. They would play with me and I would play with them. And we would go tit-for-tat until everyone would get real uncomfortable. (Laughs)
Who's your favorite?
Probably Tommy. Because he's like a big sweet kid. I was a bigger fan of Metalllica than of Motley Crue or Guns N' Roses. But Tommy as a person -- whatever his reputation may suggest -- he's one of the kindest, most caring people have met in a long time. Like with the heart of a child. So wide open and fantastic. He's my favorite.
Any crazy encounters during the course of the show that you'd like to share?
I leg-wrestled Tommy on a private plane to Vegas. He wanted to fly the plane upside down. And I wasn't having it. I said, "Thomas. If you fly this plane upside down, I'm taking you out." And we laughed and we giggled. And I sat down in his chair and said, "I'm not kidding." And he kept trying to get up so I pulled him back into his seat on top of me with my legs around his middle. And I locked my ankles together and popped a rib out of place. And he sat very still for the rest of the plane ride -- but he was happy. (Laughs)
Have you ever used you singing prowess to seduce a guy?
Yes. While I was on Rock Star: Supernova, I proposed to my boyfriend through a song.
What song was that?
Anything, Anything by Dramarama.
We tried proposing that way too, except that our choice of song was "freak me." Finally, what would an ex-boyfriend say about you?
That he slept with me. Because I'm famous now. (Smiles) He would talk about how great in bed I though he was. (Laughs)
"That'll get me to... pour tequila on a stranger and make out with them until their mouth bleeds."
-- Oh, look! We just stumbled into a bottle of tequilla and we don't mind skipping the get-to-know stage. Once again un-___y!
"... my legs around his middle. And I locked my ankles together..."
-- More of that on-air plane "moment" she had with Tommy Lee, who is still not getting Holiday greetings from us!"
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